Usually my bullshit detector works pretty well. Many years in marketing has honed it into sniffing out the majority of dodgy deals. So, I’m feeling pretty hacked off that I’ve fallen for such a cheap trick – that with the benefit of hindsight wasn’t that cheap for me.

In my defence, I was pretty exhausted and off guard when it happened but none the less I am irritated. It happened recently in the dying hours of an exhibition at the NEC where I had spent 4 long, long days running a stand for the company I’m currently working for.

I was taking a break from stand duty and wandering around the other exhibits when I stopped to watch a demonstration of something called ‘The Pink Stick’. I had glanced down the aisleways at other times during the show and seen the crowds gathering around this company’s stands and I did think it quite strange that they had two separate stand locations in the same area of the exhibition hall.

The stands had mature ‘trustworthy’ looking men and women demonstrating this ‘revolutionary’ anti-fogging solution. Behind each of them was a mirror, suspended above a tray of boiling water that was giving off steam continually. The bottom half of the mirror was completely fogged with condensation and the upper half absolutely crystal clear – and I mean gleaming clear – not a single bit of misting, drop or dribble of water.

The demonstrators were all American and expounding the amazing properties of ‘The Pink Stick’ while doing hands-on demos including other mirrors, bits of plastic and pairs of glasses by holding them over more steaming trays at the front of the stands. Each time, the results looked impressive – untreated section fully steamed – treated section gleaming clear.

As I stood there watching this, my brain took the following journey…

hmm – I leave for work early in the morning; the winter is setting in now; my windows are always very steamed up; my aircon is a bit crap and takes a while to clear the windows or I have to keep wiping them when I first start my journey; this could save a lot of time and effort; £6 for one ‘miracle solution’ seems reasonable – £10 for two seems like a bargain!

Perhaps I should have been a little more questioning when I was given three ‘Pink Sticks’ for £10 rather than the advertised two – but I assumed that as it was the last afternoon of the show and the aisles were getting quieter they just wanted to offload stock rather than have to repack it. Off I went feeling pleased that I’d got more for my money and thinking how many more condensation free mornings and evenings I was likely to enjoy.

So… a few days later, I was parked up in my car at lunchtime and decided to use a bit of downtime to give my windows their first ‘Pink Stick’ treatment. I undid the container and the Pink Stick stunk. It’s a sort of waxy chemical type smell but I took that as a good sign – probably the secret ingredient that delivers the miracle I thought. I applied it to a cloth and set about coating my windscreen, side windows and mirrors with the stuff. First impressions were not great as it was like scrawling on your windows with a soft wax crayon and then trying to rub it off. The waxy sheen took quite a bit of effort to clear but my windows did look pretty clear after all the effort.

Anyway, I returned to the office, finished the day’s work and then returned to my car for the commute home. It was a cold evening and typically my windows would be steaming up a few minutes after starting the car but today was different. Miracle of miracles, the windows stayed clear and condensation free – the car was still full of horrible Pink Stick fumes but at least I could see out and begin my journey home immediately – feeling pretty chuffed with the investment I’d made.

The following morning was equally cold and wintery but after the previous evening’s experience I was relishing the thought that I could just start the car up and drive off without any condensation hassles. Then came the horrible realisation that I’d been conned.

This stuff is literally a ‘one hit wonder’. I’ve now experimented a few times with it and it absolutely only works for one application meaning you need to reapply it every time you want a morning or evening of clear windows. Then I twigged why the exhibition demos are so impressive – they are reapplying the stuff continually, day in, day out. However, for anyone using it in everyday life, it is no more useful than just using a plain cloth – in fact it’s harder work as it’s a bugger to wipe completely clean particularly on an area the size of a windscreen.

After the disappointment of the product not working as implied,I then looked at it a bit closer. It’s a lump of pink waxy substance that I wouldn’t be surprised is the waste residue from some horrible  industrial process which has had a fetching shade of pink dye added to it.  It is presented in what looks like (and I’m sure probably is) the type of container you typically provide a urine sample in and it has a very badly photocopied A5 size piece of paper tucked into the container that provides virtually no useful or informative details of the product itself or its usage. I’m guessing the unit cost is no more than about 10 pence. So… £6 for a single stick is going to be a pretty hefty profit.

Obviously, this type of sale requires the impulse buying decision triggered by the impressive demo and air of ‘exclusivity’, which explains why they had more than one stand operating in the same exhibition area and why they had targeted the high flow aisles. They need a good supply of suckers over a four day period to cover the space costs and turn a good profit before high-tailing it back to their nondescript and possibly non-existent offices in Hawaii.

Anyway – my learning from this experience is new confirmation that ‘if it looks too good to be true – it usually is’ and also that ‘The Pink Stick’ stinks – literally and metaphorically.

You have been warned…